Well, nobody said life would be easy, but for my generation, it’s becoming ridiculous. Next to education, marriage seems to be the most common theme for women in their mid-twenties.
People are increasingly mounting pressure on women of that age bracket, failing to realize that goals and life plans can be made all day long, but the future is not as easily mapped as the past.
In life, we don’t pick who we fall in love with, and it never happens like it should. But before entering into marriage, there are pertinent questions to ask before making a lifetime commitment to your spouse. Below are 11 of these questions.
- Do you accept each other as you both are, flaws, faults, shortcomings without the need to make any changes?
Every marriage is made up of two flawed people. God alone can change a person, no human can change by himself. The liar cannot make himself truthful, neither can the unchaste person give himself a pure heart. True love should see beyond the obvious.
- Has your courtship been smooth or turbulent?
Frequent or caustic premarital fights predict turmoil after marriage. Just as communication is important in a relationship, arguments can be the most destructive element. The secret to avoiding arguments is loving and respectful communication, acceptance and contentment. A good relationship may have disagreements, but you find that you can talk them out and settle them.
- Do you like the way you feel about yourself when you are with your intended?
The way you feel about yourself when in your mate’s company frequently reflects your partner’s underlying, often unstated sentiments. Note that when you don’t appreciate the value of your intended, you will submit it to the approval of people who cannot see clearly where you are going.
- Do you have compatible interests, attitudes, values and goals?
It is important to be in harmony about the things you like to do, the beliefs you hold important, the way you view the world, and your life’s objectives. It is often said that couples that pray together, stay together. As a woman, you must learn values that will make you a wife and a mother. A man must also learn principles that will make him a husband and a father. In general, have your destiny in mind as you take your marital journey.
- What spousal roles do you expect after marriage?
You need to agree as to what roles both will be playing particularly when children come in. Who is taking care of the house, providing the money, etc. are important discussions to have before marriage.
- Is your intended sexually satisfying to you?
True love requires an emotional and spiritual interaction with your spouse. Sexual and affectional compatibility are vital parts of a lasting and satisfying marriage.
- Do you feel comfortable when you are in the company of your intended’s family and friends?
Be aware that marriage comes with a large cast of loveable and sometimes not-so-loveable characters.
- Are you interested in the satisfaction of each other’s needs?
Love is an unselfish caring about the interests of the other. It includes a passionate desire to gratify your loved one’s needs and desires.
- Is there the feeling of solid and enduring friendship?
Lack of effective communication is one of the greatest enemies of successful marriages today. People in satisfying marriages often describe their spouses as their best friend.
- Are your personal and household hygienic standards compatible?
Incompatibility in the need for orderliness and cleanliness can seriously undermine the marital home. For instance, one of the things that seriously turn women off in men is foul body smell.
- Are you willing to accept responsibility, as far as is reasonable, for making the relationship work? Maturity begins when spouses begin accepting responsibility for their own actions. People who recognize that their actions influence their spouses’ behavior are best able to work out marital difficulties.
Having said all these, one may ask, ‘How far can a man see?’ It is important to note that your partner cannot fulfill your needs in every way, but a positive marriage is built in an atmosphere of love and acceptance. Although sharing your life with your spouse should add joy to your years, you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness.
By Brenda Lutterodt|3news.com|Ghana