During a discussion on abusive relationships, marriage and relationship counsellor Uncle Ebo Whyte stated that loving and valuing oneself goes a long way to discern what is good for you and what you need to run from.
Uncle Ebo Whyte shared this with Berla Mundi and Cookie Tee on Tv3 NewDay, where he explained the importance of self-worth in relationships. According to him, people with self-esteem issues are more likely to seek out and stay with abusive partners.
“If somebody has a very negative opinion of herself, if her self-worth is so low even when she gets a man who will treat her right, she feels that I don’t deserve this. And would therefore do all kinds of things consciously and unconsciously to destroy it.
“And get to a guy who will treat her like she thinks she deserves. And that’s why sometimes we hear people say, ‘he was too good for me. How can he love me because I don’t love myself? I don’t think I am enough. How come he sees enough in me?”
Speaking from his experiences in the counselling room, Uncle Ebo Whyte explained that people go for relationships they think they deserve. So, if you don’t love yourself enough, you will settle for less.
“This is what I have discovered in my thirty–three years of counselling. In a relationship, people go for the kind of relationship they think they deserve, not the one they need. And so that is why we talk about the fact that it is important for you to love yourself first. Otherwise, you will short change yourself.
“How can’t you see that this is wrong for you? And yet they don’t see it because what the rest of us don’t see is that they think this is what I deserve.”
Uncle Ebo Whyte advises that to break that negative cycle, you need to forgive yourself. He explained that holding on to the past can be distracting. Don’t allow it to define you, your choices and options. He encourages people to value and hold themselves priceless above all else.
By Grace Somuah-Annan|3news.com|Ghana