Lifestyle
The six things you shouldn’t do if you want your relationship to last the distance
Every text gives you butterflies, you’re smiling all day long and you just can’t wait to see each other again.
If you feel like this, you’re likely still in the honeymoon period of a new relationship.
But despite everything seeming perfect, it could be doomed if you don’t watch out for the things that could potentially ruin it in the long run.
From assuming they are perfect from their behavior early on to avoiding serious conversations, there are many little things we can be blind to when in the blissful early days of a new relationship.
Here, FEMAIL rounds up the mistakes to avoid if you want your new girlfriend or boyfriend to go the distance…
DON’T MOVE TOO FAST
It can be tempting to want to blow through the honeymoon stage and quickly settle into a comfortable routine or worse, do something drastic like move in together too soon.
But wanting to spend every second together could be the death knell for your partner – so don’t drop your whole life for them.
Make sure to spend a few nights alone, continue to make time for the things you love and still go out with your friends.
It’s important to retain a little mystery to keep things exciting, says Meredith Fineman, founder of Fifty First (J)Dates.
‘In a new relationship, it’s really easy to blow out too fast in the honeymoon’ phase and want to spend every waking second together,’ she told Glamour.
‘It can be the end of a relationship if your partner feels that the mystery is gone.’
DON’T ASSUME THEY’RE PERFECT
In the early days of a new relationship, you always try a little – or a lot – harder to impress your new partner.
But don’t expect that they will maintain those standards and give the relationship a bit more time before deciding if they’re the one.
Kate Figes, author of books including ‘Couples: How We Make Love Last’, says it’s important to understand and accept that your new partner isn’t infallible.
‘Expecting someone to be everything you need and everything you are not is a recipe for disaster,’ she told The Telegraph.
‘If you can exercise forgiveness in small ways at the start of a love affair then you’re more likely to find ways to forgive the bigger hurts and transgressions, if and when they happen.’
DON’T BE POSSESSIVE
Clinginess is always a turn-off.
Just because you’re newly dating doesn’t mean your partner is obligated to spend all their time with you.
Expecting (or demanding) too much of their time could signal to them that you’re not compatible or that you don’t trust them.
Clingy: Being too possessive or wanting to spend all your time with your new partner could quickly end a new relationship
DON’T AVOID SERIOUS DISCUSSIONS
As happy as you might be in your newly coupled up state, it’s important not to avoid discussing the things that could affect the relationship later.
Don’t avoid talking about your long-term goals and ambitions: Do you want to get married? Do you want kids?
They don’t need to happen on the very first date, but shouldn’t be avoided for too long.
Similarly, it’s hard to mention the things that might annoy you about your new partner – whether it’s an embarrassing pet name they have for you or their tendency to always be late – but it’s better to discuss them now before it’s too late.
DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR EXES CONSTANTLY
Talking about past relationships is often unavoidable, but in the early stages of a new one, it can do some serious damage.
Not only could it suggest that you’re not over your ex, it could also make your or your new partner draw comparisons.
Heather and Eric Viets, who both have Master’s degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and run Preengaged.com, both agree that discussing past relationships is a major turn-off in a new one.
‘What comes across when we babble about old boyfriends or girlfriends is that we are still hung up on them, that we don’t have much of a life outside of relationships, or that we are not interested in the person to whom we are currently talking,’ says Heather.
