I am one of your an ardent listener on Onua FM’s drive time “Efie Ne Fie”. I know you have a segment on your show called “Asumasem” (secrets) where you give listeners the opportunity to share their secrets/stories and seek help or counseling if they need it. Sorry to disappoint you but this isn’t a cry for help story. Just thought I should share my secret as well
I read an article published by the New York Post, a Manhattan-based psychiatrist, Dr. Kenneth Rosenberg, told New York Post that “20% of men cheat but that number has been stable for the past 20years or so. For women, it is 15% but that number has gone up to 50% over the past 20years. This he attributed to women under 35years feeling the “agency” to sneak around on their partners thanks to the “culture of sexual freedom”.
The first time I came across this article, I thought it was the most stupid (excuse my language) thing I have ever read. Women don’t cheat! But I was in for the surprise of my life when I came in contact with my ex-boyfriend.
He was the love of life. We had planned our lives together during our University days. I was going to get a job at a law firm while he set up his own business. Save for about a year or two and settle down. It was the perfect plan until it wasn’t. My ex told me about his plans to further his education outside, something we didn’t plan. However, he was excited about it and I didn’t want to ruin it for him. Long distance relationship, we would make it work. We loved each other and that was the most important thing.
Anyway, fast forward, the relationship couldn’t survive the distance and so we mutually departed ways. I got a job at a law firm, that was how I met my husband two years after my ex, and I broke up. I liked him immediately I saw him. He wasn’t that good looking but he was a man in every sense.
My husband and I begun a relationship. Six months in, we got married. Everything was great with us. We had a happy home. He made sure to provide me with everything I needed. I lacked nothing. I was happy. After all, happy wife, happy life right.
One day I got a call from my ex. He was in town and wanted us to meet. I didn’t hesitate because I had forgotten about him and every feelings I felt towards him was gone. Sex with my husband is magical. We try something new every day. Variety is the spice of life they say. We always look forward to what the other person will bring to the bedroom.
We met up and five minutes into the conversation, I knew I was in trouble. Every feeling that I thought I had buried came rushing back to me. We hadn’t kissed yet. But there it was. I wondered what it will be like to be with him again. I went home wondering and that night I had the best sex with my husband.
I deceived myself into thinking that it was because I was missing my husband or some silly excuse. I avoided my ex like a plague for a month but he will not give up. Haa! Stubborn men, my weakness.
I gave up and met with him again. Turns out he still gat it. I wasn’t about to give up that feeling. My ex and I were back together except this time I was married and he had a fiancée. But who cares, we weren’t going to leave our partners for each other so we were good.
I made sure I satisfied my husband in every sense of the word. Frankly, having sex with the other person on my mind put me on a whole different level. I love my husband. I love the intimacy between my husband and i. Nothing will change that. But my ex on the other hand, oww boyyyy, that’s another level.
Like I said, this is not a cry for help. I am not looking for an intervention. I know readers and listeners will have a field day with this and judge me but I don’t really care I am just being honest about my sexuality. I am old enough to know what I want. If society is okay with men parading women around and get called “THE MAN”. Why should a woman be slut-shamed for doing same? So keep your judgement to yourself and your boring monogamous life. But this is me sharing my amazing life and sex life with two wonderful men. Best of both worlds.
My husband and I will be traveling next month. My ex is marrying his fiancée during the time that I will be gone. We both get to spend some quality time with the people we love and I know when we meet again, it’s going to be amazing. Who am I kidding, it’s going to be fireworks. Don’t worry, the ex and I practice safe sex.
So Dr. Prekese, this is my story. A good old fashion cheating story except this time, it’s a woman doing the cheating.
My name is Doris.