The Mothers’ Day edition of Today’s Woman was a mother and daughter affair between the host Michelle Attoh and ace actress Rama Brew.
Rama Brew admonished young mothers not to feel pressured to give birth to multiple children without adequately planning for them.
In an interview with the host of Today’s Woman Michelle Attoh on TV3, Sunday, May 9, she spoke about the numerous pressures on mothers today. Work, family and society that demand a lot from women, especially young mothers. Thus pushing them to the brink of anxiety and stress.
Rama said, ‘So if you are a young mother that has just got married, and you have one child. What is the hurry to have a second, and a third, and a fourth when you are not financially stable enough to carry that burden?‘
”Having a child is a 20-year project and beyond. So if you have a first child, it will be wise to save your money, have that child, prepare and lay the foundation for future children. When you have them back to back, who are you going to blame? I mean, then you are stretching yourself thin. The children will get sick if they are not eating well. They will be stressed out depending on the dynamics between your husband and yourself. It is a mote of the bomb that is going to explode.”
She said young mothers get stressed because they are trying to please too many people. They begin to lose themselves, and unfortunately, it’s the children that bear the brunt of it. Rama Brew restated that until you are ready for marriage or children, do not go in for it.
Speaking on how some women considered even birth spacing expedient, she said, ‘‘I agree, but it takes two to tango. So before you and your husband decide to have children, you have to discuss it. You are not having children for family or friends, so there should be family planning. You shouldn’t be pressurized by anybody to have children.”
Rama Brew continued, “We are coming from society, especially from our part of the world in Africa, where a woman gets married. And everybody expects you to produce babies. Now a young woman who is having problems making babies will start to feel pressured by her family, by his family and then society in general. It’s a horrible mix, and it is not much she can do. If she puts her feet down, they will find a new wife for her husband. And if she is not, and coming from an open-minded family, they will say go and see a doctor. And let’s see if it’s your fault or his fault.“
She said women who want to have careers and raise a family at the same time, should be very well prepared for the task ahead. She cautioned that the honeymoon phase lasts for only a short while after you begin to see each other for who you are.
She said, “what I would be against is physical abuse. If a man hits you once, he is going to hit you again. And the warning signs are there right from the beginning. The red flags are always there right from the beginning, so you would be a fool to think that; oh, he loves me, I can change him with my love. That’s a whole lot of hogwash”.
By Barima Kwabena Yeboah|3news.com|Ghana