“I am very satisfied with masturbating with sharp objects, what is the big deal?”
Uhuh! I could never reach orgasm without seeing blood from my “coochie”. I believe as women, each female should have their sexual preference and I certainly have one. I read somewhere that the blood supply to the vagina is very rich and I also know for a fact that, the vagina is a highly sensitive area which the smallest cut in there can cause an incredible amount of bleeding but, it will heal quickly. Masturbating with sharp objects to reach orgasm was my kind of thing. I could use sharp objects including a pen, a razor blade and toothbrush.
Many people have their perceptions about masturbating; some think it is normal, healthy, not something you should feel guilty about and also, the best way to get to know your body. Others think it is morally incorrect and not beneficial to pour out all your sexual desires into masturbation and think it’s the worst thing to do.
Having sex and reaching orgasm is a very vital part of my sexual life. I always felt the need to go to the extreme. I could have hardcore sex and go for so many rounds, yet won’t feel satisfied. I started thinking it was something spiritual and went for prayers but nothing changed which made me stop and settled with the idea that, this was my own unique way of actually pleasing myself.
How it begun…
It may seem strange but inserting and masturbating with sharp objects begun around the age of puberty where I started to see changes in my body and started feeling ‘things’ and I did not really have friends I could talk to about what I was experiencing. You probably thinking “where was my mother” well my mum was the best mother she could be to her daughter but she was not the type that would have conversations concerning “sex” with you. So, I was on my own with no one to talk to which left me thinking it was a normal thing.
I would go to my bathroom, find any object sharp enough to make my vagina bleed, sit on the tiled floor and start masturbating with it till blood starts oozing out. And oh damn! I feel good and very satisfied as I moan.
Unfortunately, it went on for quite a long time that at age 20, I still did not feel the need to even have sex with a man because I psyched myself that a man could never make me feel the way I felt when I masturbate with sharp objects. The whole idea behind sex is to feel sexually satisfied and reach orgasm so how wrong can my own way of reaching orgasm be termed as ‘extreme’? The thoughts of masturbating always get my libido screaming.
I turned down proposals from guys who showed interest in me. I am still not the friendship person. I keep to myself and talk only when necessary. Being in a relationship or anything serious with a man never seemed possible for me because of my preference. The thought of marriage made me sick to the core. I never saw myself settling down with a man, knowing how I reach orgasm, I knew it would be catastrophic.
Quitting masturbation with sharp objects
I had a roomie when I was at the university, who was a very good Christian and a medical student. She was very friendly but I still kept to myself as I did when I was a child. She could tell at times that I looked depressed about something and wanted to talk but I was holding back. I would masturbate and my coochie will be hurting so bad that I used all sort of herbal remedies I could lay hands on to heal my ‘coochie’ because it got to a point that it was not healing quickly as it used to, even with orthodox pain killers, and it was alarming. I would skip lectures because of the pain and my bed always had stains of blood on them which left my roommate wondering why there was always blood on my bed sheet, but I always told a lie. She tried countless times to get me to confide in her but to no avail. I had this thought that she would tell everyone at the hostel about it.
At the time, I always thought it was no big deal and I did not know about the harm I was doing to myself so I continued with masturbating until one day during a psychology class. The topic was ‘psychological effects of masturbation’. It got me thinking about what I have been doing all these years with sharp objects. It was in this class that I learnt masturbation could be harmful to one’s mental and physical health. I got to know that the chemical changes that takes place in the body is different than the chemicals that takes place when you have real sex. It was clear from the class that repeatedly masturbating keeps lowering your self-confidence and your mind starts to believe that you have problems with your social life. This revelation hit me really hard because I never thought about the harm I was doing to myself both physical and psychologically.
I started reading on the effects of masturbating with sharp objects. And that was when it dawned on me, this unyielding terror overwhelmed me. I felt atrocious about myself, I broke down and cried like I have never cried my entire life. It was at that very instant that my room mate walked in on me and saw me so broken. Without asking any question, she hurriedly run and embraced me on the floor where I laid weeping and held me in her arms as I wept on. I cried for about 30 minutes before I calmed down and I realized I was in her arms crying. I felt very ashamed and could not look her in the eye. She saw how sad I was and assured me that I could confide in her. I was at my lowest and she knew it. Without hesitation, I confessed all I have been doing since childhood to her and to my utmost surprise, she did not judge me. She comforted me and said she would help me overcome the habbit.
The next morning, she took me to see a doctor friend of hers who ran series of tests on me and gave me medication for the pain in my coochie. From the hospital, we went to see a psychologist who counselled me and made me regain my self-confidence back. Opening up about my addiction to masturbating with sharp objects was not an easy thing but, I have come to realize that, the more you talk about your problems, the lighter the burden of keeping it a secret feels. It has been a very long and hectic journey but extremely helpful. I am now married with a child.
It started as a small experience with myself that ended up becoming an addiction. Learn from my experience and stay far away from masturbating with sharp objects.
And yes, I could never reach orgasm without my coochie bleeding.
Editor’s note: This is a real life story of a young woman in her 20s who was addicted to masturbating with sharp objects as shared with this writer. If you have a real life story that could cause a change in the life of someone, kindly share with the writer via email: email@example.com
By Nanaakua Yeboah|3news.com|Ghana|The writer is a final year student of African University College of Communications.