Why do people kill their loved ones for money? Why do others risk their health in the name of prostitution? Why do people engage in some illegalities they usually would have avoided? One reason― desperation. Desperation, like seduction, leads you where you never dreamt of being!
A plethora of situations makes us vulnerable. Our gender can make us vulnerable. Our background can expose us to some vulnerability. How we think can even make us vulnerable. If we are desperate in life, we are in danger of being vulnerable, too.
Desperation is not a good place to be. It makes one take decisions that have only been given little thoughts. When you are desperate, you let your guards down and reduce your standards. You make a choice due to only your present circumstances. Anything can walk into a desperate life because the doors of that life have been widely flung open!
A woman desperate for a job will do anything for it. A young man desperate for fame will subject his life to anything as long as it may get them noticed. If you want to see a vulnerable man or woman, look out for a desperate one. The consequences of their decisions mean almost nothing to them.
The place of desperation is a dangerous place to be. It is in this place that we confidently take decisions we know we would later regret. It makes us assume our decision will bring us to a place of less discomfort… only to realize it instead brought us a lot more uncomfortable consequences. Desperation is what makes us flee from frying pan to fire!
When people reach the place of desperation, they have reached the place of vulnerability― a place where anything becomes acceptable. Desperation makes you vulnerable. The doors of your life are open to just anything when you are so desperate for something.
When I see society directly or indirectly push people to the place of desperation, I shake my head in awe. It tugs at my heartstrings when I observe our young men and, especially, women reach the place where they must marry at all cost; despite all the uncertainties and unanswered questions. It is a dangerous thing to fall in the hands of desperation.
People fret when they are desperate. They don’t think right. All their decisions are based on what others think― whether it is good for them or not. When desperation sets in, we consider how older we are getting and not whether a prospective spouse is even the right person for us. A desperate man or woman knows no bad spouse because their state of desperation blurs every red flag they see!
There’s no man or woman as vulnerable as one who’s desperate for marriage. They don’t mind dying on the cross all over again for a ring. They don’t mind putting their lives on the line just to be walked down the aisle!
Irony is, it is only when we get tied to the consequences of our desperate choices that we come to notice that some pastures were only green from a distance. Sometimes, the greener pastures we see from a distance are only a mirage.
It is after we have come to face the reality of our desperate decisions that we get to know that we have been more miserable married than single. It is then that we get to know that those who fuel our desperate choices always hang around to mock us when reality slaps us in the face.
Being desperate is being vulnerable. At all times, our life decisions should be made in calmness and the right frame of mind. We ought to pore over our thoughts before they become decisions. Our future should be so important to us that no decision should be made in haste. Reality should always be weighed.
Desperation will leave us worse than it found us. It will make us choose spouses we someday will wish we shouldn’t have. Desperation will fall for charm with little concern for character because it has no time to pay attention to the content of a person. Before desperation, there’s some assumed regret. After desperation, there’s even more regret.
Desperation has only little time to spare so almost all of its decisions are based on short-lasting feelings. A woman desperate for marriage cares only little about who a man really is. They are in haste to please society so would fall for anything. A desperate man doesn’t mind walking his enemy down the aisle as long as it will earn him the accolade “married man”.
There’s life after our decisions― and this life will tell whether we were desperate in our decisions or not― whether we carefully pondered over our decisions before taking them. We don’t need to fall for everything that comes our way. It’s only a desperate soul that calls everything a blessing.
Not every ram locked in a bush is from God. Every burning bush doesn’t signify the presence of God. We need to discern. Where there’s desperation, however, there’s no space for discernment. We are vulnerable when desperate because we embrace every disciple as a friend, forgetting some are Judases!
May it never be said that you were desperate at any point in your life. In business, don’t be desperate. You may end up entering crippling partnerships. In relationships, don’t be desperate. You may end up in bed with someone’s husband before you even know. In life, never be desperate. People will take advantage of your vulnerability.
It is always better to wait long for something than rush for another thing that looks like it… only to endure the pain of sticking with it for the rest of your life. Think about it.
By Kobina Ansah
The writer is a playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications, an Accra-based writing company (www.scribecommltd.com).